In my previous post, When Teenager’s Adopt – Part 1, we had just walked into our last home study visit. Our social worker had on a very concerned look and I was worried we had done something wrong.
Instead she proceed to tell us she had a proposal for us. Jaw drop.
For those of you who don’t know much about the adoption process, a proposal is when social workers propose a particular child to the adoptive parents, who then decide whether or not they want to proceed. Proposal’s do NOT happen until adoptive parents complete their home study and are put on the active list. Once on the list, most adoptive parents wait a few months to a couple of years to get matched.
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We stared at her blankly. We had a proposal? But we weren’t even finished our home study! I thought she had just said we were too young? I thought we were getting put on hold? Furthermore, she said it was for a 2 month old little boy! Everything we had learned in training taught us that most children available for adoption were over the age of three. We had started a collection of toddler items in preparation for a toddler to join our family. A baby??
She explained that in this particular case the birth mother was allowed to choose the adoptive parents (this is not common in foster care adoptions) and that the three previous families she had chosen had all said no. He had some known risk factors for possible special needs, which we had said we were happy to accept. We looked through his file and immediately said YES! We found out he was ready to come home in THREE WEEKS! Yikes! Not much time to prepare for a baby…
A week later we were given our first photo of him. We fell in love immediately. I imagine this is what parents must feel when they receive their first sonogram.
A week after the photo we were meeting him for the first time. His name was Mathieu, which means gift from God. The meaning couldn’t have been more perfect. Our love for him was INSTANT, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. We were to spend the next week getting to know him in his foster home, arriving when he woke up, and leaving when he went to bed.
I quickly discovered I knew NOTHING about parenting. I had only babysat a couple of times as a child, and hadn’t been particularly good at things like changing diapers. I once had to call a friend in a panic because the “poo just wouldn’t wipe away.” I made sure to follow the foster parent as closely as I could to learn how to make a bottle, how to change his diaper, and what his daily routine was. She was an amazing and sweet Christian lady who welcomed us in and taught us everything (She was the one who inspired us to become foster parents. Read that story here). We were so worried it would be awkward being in a complete strangers home for a week, but she was so gracious! She must have thought the workers were crazy for having a couple of teenager’s come and adopt the little guy!
(Side note: this is also when I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, hence the new look.)
By the end of the week we were allowed to officially bring him home as our son. I couldn’t believe they were letting us drive such a tiny little baby! By this time we had the hang of his daily schedule and how to feed and change him, and were excited to begin our new life together with this darling little child.
Today Mathieu is 12 years old and thriving!! And to our astonishment, he ended up having no special needs! Those three other families missed out on one of the most amazing kids ever! When we did testing for him he actually scored genius levels in several areas. Talk about a miracle! He has become the typical A-type first born child. He loves the usual boy things like mine craft and soccer, but he also loves math, documentaries, deep conversations, babies, and his family. I know he is going to do amazing things in his life and I am SO thankful our social worker saw past our age, that his birth mother saw past our age, and that we were given the chance to parent this awesome kid! We love him more than I can ever say!
To find out how we became foster parents next, click here.
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Love this boy!
Love readying yours and Daniel’s story.
Daniel has a very special place in our hearts as he worked for our company when we lived in BC and then came and lived and worked for us over the summer in Ontario in 2001.
I can honestly say that Ryan helped mold me into the man I am today. I learned so much from him about how to work hard and give 110%. “Never walk around with empty hands” I still by that everyday.
I’m so glad you’re sharing all this. And I definitely teared up a bit at the end, seeing Mathieu’s baby picture and current picture side by side.