The new school year is almost upon us, and for many of us, it may have already begun. It marks the return to reality and for so many of our kids (and ourselves) a wave of emotions begins to arise at the thought of returning. Some of you may be ready to celebrate the return to quieter days, and others may feel sadness at the thought of summer coming to an end. Whether we have ... Read More
12 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Adoptive or Foster Parents
It was a beautiful evening as my best friend and I sat in our vehicle, parked along the river, ready to go for a leisurely stroll (so weird I use to do things leisurely!). We were mid conversation, when a man who looked to be in his mid-fifties walked up to my vehicle and knocked on the window. Thinking he wanted directions, I rolled the window down. Now for clarification, we ... Read More
Foster Parent’s Take Strike! 7 Facts We Want You to Know! (Part II)
Last post I began our strike notice with the first 4 facts foster parents want you to know. Today, I continue with the last 3 and hopefully help foster a new understanding of the journey we walk. 5. Children are Not Resilient Many professionals are quick to throw around the term "resilient" when it comes to children experiencing trauma, neglect, abuse, and multiple ... Read More
Foster Parent’s Take Strike! 7 Facts We Want You To Know! (Part 1)
The time has come for Foster Parent's to take strike. Daniel and I signed up to become foster parents nearly 13 years ago. We were just a couple of naive but passionate newly weds, parenting our newly adopted infant son. We had hopes and dreams of becoming long term foster parents, starting off as safe baby foster home for prenatally exposed infants, and eventually moving ... Read More
Is Adoption Wrong?
I am a social worker. I've also been an adoptive parent for almost 14 years and a foster parent for almost 13. Over the past several years, however, with the creation of Facebook groups in particular, I have seen a shift in the way adoption and foster care is both discussed and viewed. Adoption ethics have come to the forefront of many discussions in both positive and negative ... Read More
Why You Should Reward Your Child for Bad Behavior
You're standing in your kitchen washing dishes when suddenly your 10 year old child comes walking in. He asks if he can have an ice cream sandwich. Dinner is in 5 minutes so you calmly let him know not right now, but after dinner. Unfortunately, this tried and true method of delaying the "yes" doesn't work and your child begins to meltdown. I'm not talking your average ... Read More
I Still Hug Your Teddy Bear
***Disclaimer: This post is focused on the perspective of a foster parent and what a foster parent goes through. It does not touch at all on birth parents and their feelings, or even the children, and is not meant to be a discussion on children returning home. Those are very important topics, but for another post. Instead, this is meant to look at the emotions a ... Read More
Am I Normal?
If you have ever visited my blog before, you know I am an adoptive and foster mother to 8 children. What you might not realize is that I am also a social worker and conduct home studies for fellow parents out there looking to adopt. The other day I was finishing off a home study visit with a family when they stopped and asked, "Are we normal?" The question ... Read More
Foster-to-Adopt – Part 2
A few days after our son Robby turned CCO in June, we got a phone call that his birth mother was pregnant again and due in January. Due to her unique circumstances the baby would be apprehended at birth and we were asked if we wanted to take the new baby. We of course said yes and went on with our lives while we waited. (I later discovered I had a fluky blue camera...hence the ... Read More
Becoming a Foster Parent
Daniel and I had just adopted our first son, Mathieu, in June of 2005. We were loving being parents and were soaking up every moment with our precious new blessing. During that process, however, we had met a wonderful foster parent who had been caring for Mathieu. Listening to her journey and finding out about fostering, Daniel and I immediately knew we wanted to become ... Read More
When Teenager’s Adopt – Part 2
In my previous post, When Teenager's Adopt - Part 1, we had just walked into our last home study visit. Our social worker had on a very concerned look and I was worried we had done something wrong. Instead she proceed to tell us she had a proposal for us. Jaw drop. For those of you who don't know much about the adoption process, a proposal is when social workers propose a ... Read More
Good Bye My Daughter
This is an excerpt from an article I wrote the day before my foster daughter left to return home. The emotions were raw and I still miss her to this day, but not much has changed in how I feel when a child leaves my home. ... Read More
The Forgotten Group: Teen Adoption
When you think of adoption, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Many people think immediately of infants straight from the hospital, others think of children living in orphanages overseas. One of the last things people think of however, is teenagers right here in our own backyard. ... Read More
What Are the Different Types of Adoption?
Many people do not realize just how many types of adoption there really are. Often the various types are confused, mixed-up or unknown. In this post I will discuss the many different types of adoption including: Domestic Adoption, International Adoption, Foster Care Adoption, Direct Placement Adoption and Embryo Adoption. ... Read More
7 Important Things to Know to Start the Adoption Process
Starting the adoption process can be a daunting task. Finding a centralized hub with all of the information is almost impossible. Rules, prices, countries available, and even the process can differ between provinces and countries. In this post I will provide important things to know based on Canadian information, so you can start your adoption process! ... Read More