Dear Friends & Family, It's true. I chose this life and everything that has accompanied it since. I chose to parents kids who require extra time to celebrate their culture. Attend cultural events. Cook new foods, and continually educate myself on a culture not my own. I chose to have children who come with another extended family of their own. I chose to ... Read More
Navigating Back to School: Through the Adoption and Foster Care Lens
The new school year is almost upon us, and for many of us, it may have already begun. It marks the return to reality and for so many of our kids (and ourselves) a wave of emotions begins to arise at the thought of returning. Some of you may be ready to celebrate the return to quieter days, and others may feel sadness at the thought of summer coming to an end. Whether we have ... Read More
Foster Parents and Foster Parent Supports Wanted!
The need for foster parents in both Canada and the United States has hit an all-time high. With close to 80,000 children in foster care in Canada, and 400,000 children in the United States, it is evident the situation is dire. In Canada in particular, we are facing many aging foster parents nearing retirement, and less younger applicants signing up. On top of low recruitment ... Read More
Advocacy in Foster Care
Advocacy is a useful tool in seeking change when change needs to happen. I am a rather passionate person, and when there is a cause worth fighting for, I am there. These days I tend to focus on those topics near and dear to my life (Adoption, foster care and FASD primarily), but if I could I would add a lot more to that list. I found a recent quote from A Wide Line encompassing ... Read More
12 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Adoptive or Foster Parents
It was a beautiful evening as my best friend and I sat in our vehicle, parked along the river, ready to go for a leisurely stroll (so weird I use to do things leisurely!). We were mid conversation, when a man who looked to be in his mid-fifties walked up to my vehicle and knocked on the window. Thinking he wanted directions, I rolled the window down. Now for clarification, we ... Read More
I’m Dying: Now What? The Importance of Self-Care in Adoption and Foster Care
Hi! My name is Amanda and I am dying. Anyone else? I think it is safe to say, that many of us on the adoption or foster care journey are living a life of chaos and are pretty worn out, hanging on by a mere thread. We may have begun the downward spiral of talking to garbage cans, eating fish crackers off the floor for dinner, resorting to basic tomfoolery in our spare ... Read More
The Importance of Support in Adoption and Foster Care
As many of us travel along this journey of adoption and foster care, few of us will make it without finding ourselves knee deep in the trenches. It is while in those trenches that we truly realize the importance of support in adoption and foster care. Rose Colored Glasses Daniel and I first started the adoption process quite young. He was only 19 and I ... Read More
Foster Parent’s Take Strike! 7 Facts We Want You to Know! (Part II)
Last post I began our strike notice with the first 4 facts foster parents want you to know. Today, I continue with the last 3 and hopefully help foster a new understanding of the journey we walk. 5. Children are Not Resilient Many professionals are quick to throw around the term "resilient" when it comes to children experiencing trauma, neglect, abuse, and multiple ... Read More
Foster Parent’s Take Strike! 7 Facts We Want You To Know! (Part 1)
The time has come for Foster Parent's to take strike. Daniel and I signed up to become foster parents nearly 13 years ago. We were just a couple of naive but passionate newly weds, parenting our newly adopted infant son. We had hopes and dreams of becoming long term foster parents, starting off as safe baby foster home for prenatally exposed infants, and eventually moving ... Read More
Urgent Need! Send Help!
As Christians, we are often pulled towards the word "help." It is a deeply routed foundation in the Christian faith, and has been the backbone of many church programs. The biblical basis for this is evident, and the mandate to love our neighbors is clear. Our churches are devoted to a multitude of programs to help those in need, including single mothers, seniors, divorcees, ... Read More
Is Adoption Wrong?
I am a social worker. I've also been an adoptive parent for almost 14 years and a foster parent for almost 13. Over the past several years, however, with the creation of Facebook groups in particular, I have seen a shift in the way adoption and foster care is both discussed and viewed. Adoption ethics have come to the forefront of many discussions in both positive and negative ... Read More
Why You Should Reward Your Child for Bad Behavior
You're standing in your kitchen washing dishes when suddenly your 10 year old child comes walking in. He asks if he can have an ice cream sandwich. Dinner is in 5 minutes so you calmly let him know not right now, but after dinner. Unfortunately, this tried and true method of delaying the "yes" doesn't work and your child begins to meltdown. I'm not talking your average ... Read More
I Still Hug Your Teddy Bear
***Disclaimer: This post is focused on the perspective of a foster parent and what a foster parent goes through. It does not touch at all on birth parents and their feelings, or even the children, and is not meant to be a discussion on children returning home. Those are very important topics, but for another post. Instead, this is meant to look at the emotions a ... Read More
Am I Normal?
If you have ever visited my blog before, you know I am an adoptive and foster mother to 8 children. What you might not realize is that I am also a social worker and conduct home studies for fellow parents out there looking to adopt. The other day I was finishing off a home study visit with a family when they stopped and asked, "Are we normal?" The question ... Read More
Concurrent Adoption
Daniel and I had been adoptive and foster parents for roughly 3 years before we decided to expand our family once again. Mathieu was 3, Robby was 2 and Alaina had just turned 1 years old. We didn't have any other foster placements at the time so we figured it was a good time to begin. We pondered between a regular Ministry adoption, like the one we did with Mathieu, or a ... Read More
Foster-to-Adopt – Part 2
A few days after our son Robby turned CCO in June, we got a phone call that his birth mother was pregnant again and due in January. Due to her unique circumstances the baby would be apprehended at birth and we were asked if we wanted to take the new baby. We of course said yes and went on with our lives while we waited. (I later discovered I had a fluky blue camera...hence the ... Read More
A Day In the Life of FASD
One of the top questions I get from people considering adoption or foster care, is whether or not they think they can manage a child with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). ... Read More
Foster-to-Adopt – Part 1
Enter Robby. We had been fostering for a little over 3 months when we got the call for our very first newborn. We had never parented a newborn before, and despite already parenting Mathieu and a few other children through fostering, I was nervous! ... Read More
Becoming a Foster Parent
Daniel and I had just adopted our first son, Mathieu, in June of 2005. We were loving being parents and were soaking up every moment with our precious new blessing. During that process, however, we had met a wonderful foster parent who had been caring for Mathieu. Listening to her journey and finding out about fostering, Daniel and I immediately knew we wanted to become ... Read More
Good Bye My Daughter
This is an excerpt from an article I wrote the day before my foster daughter left to return home. The emotions were raw and I still miss her to this day, but not much has changed in how I feel when a child leaves my home. ... Read More