When Teenager’s Adopt – Part 1

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Last post I introduced you to A Teenager’s Wedding; a look at our wedding day at the ripe age of 18 and 19 years old. For this post, I actually squeezed myself out of the teenager category (fewf), but my husband sure didn’t (I still had my strange collection of stuffed pigs on top of my kitchen cabinets, so I suppose my exit from childhood isn’t 100% conclusive)!

Our first year of marriage we did the usual married things together. Played board games, had date nights, went for walks, hung out with friends, and worked.  When we had first met we had discussed our mutual desire to care for orphans and work in an orphanage. During that first year, we felt God telling us to do something different. While it wasn’t working directly with orphans, it was caring for those without a family. We felt a strong desire to move forward with adoption.

The reaction we got was similar to when we got married. “But you’re so young,” “Don’t you want to travel?” “You’re crazy!” By this time we were use to these comments and carried on knowing where our desires laid. I still wonder why everyone was so obsessed with us  travelling! (Daniel had actually already been to Africa and Europe, and I moved every 18 months growing up, including living in England and around the United States).

We decided we wanted to adopt a child with special needs. Due to Daniel being only 19, and myself 20, we only qualified to adopt from our local foster care system. Once we learned about the thousands of children waiting for a family, we knew it was the right fit. We went through training and learned everything we could about adoption, special needs, attachment, FASD, and more.

As we navigated our way through the home study, our social worker commented on the challenge it might be to find a match. On our second to last home study visit, the social worker told us she thought we should put our adoption on hold. Although she knew our true intent, our hearts, that we were mature, and more than capable of adopting a child,  on paper we still looked like teenagers. Daniel had just started a carpentry apprenticeship and I had just started a new job at a bank, but our ages were still prominent. She said we should put it on hold for 2 years and come back when we were just a bit older. Thankfully we could come back for our last home study visit the next week in order to have a completed home study which we could utilize again when the two years were over.

We went away sad and disappointed by her recommendation, but decided if that was God’s timing, that was God’s timing. Instead we would focus on getting ourselves as prepared as we could during the next two years so we would be ready for a new child. That weekend we saw an add for a condo for sale and decided to go take a look. Without looking at any other homes we bought the condo that weekend. They were selling several units all at once that had been previously used as rentals, so we got them at a killer deal. The bonus is that they included several updates to fix anything from the rental use. It resulted in us getting a condo with brand new paint and flooring at a very low price. Due to the reno’s, however, the condo would not be ready for 6 months.

Later on in the weekend we found out my Dad lost his job. Knowing we would be moving soon anyways, we offered to move in with them and pay their rent to help them out. We gave notice to our rental and made plans to move in June (it was currently May).  Just to make note, they lived in a 2 bedroom townhouse with my younger sister.

This very spontaneous lets-go-buy-a-condo weekend was definitely the beginning of how we would live the rest of our life. To this day we still do things…quickly.

The following week we went back to the social worker’s office to finish up our home study and close it off. When we walked into the room she had a strange look on her face. Had we done something wrong?

To find out what happened next, read When Teenager’s Adopt – Part 2.

Be sure to check out another great post on Why You Should Reward Your Child for Bad Behavior!